I NEED TOM CRUISE TO SEE COLOR

Watching Oprah today, I was disturbed by her conversation with Tom Cruise. Apart from the fact that I still wish Tom to be gay so that I can continue my dreams of at least one "session" with him, which was depleated (or inflated depending how you interpret his behavior) by his over-the-top expression of being in love with Katie Holmes. Somehow I'm finding it difficult to understand that this man who is so sensitive, caring and concious is also heterosexual - but that's another blog entry.

Anyway - Oprah asked Tom about his bi-racial son. Now, thanks to DVR, I can quote Tom and Oprah word for word. Naturally, you don't get tone and facial expressions in written words however, you can get an idea of why I'm so disturbed.

Oprah began, "You have a biracial son...it never seems to be, you never have mentioned it, you never mention race, yet your son is obviously of a different race. How did you? (Oprah, seeming to begin to ask with assumption that there's at least been internal discussion about what this means)."

Tom interupted, "He's from the human race. He's from man-kind. I don't see color. You know, I don't..."

Oprah's audience roared. Naturally, an audience of mostly white women who wouldn't understand any concern of why this isn't something to applaud.

Oprah then asked, as I thought in my mind..."Was it ever discussed in the family? Did you ever have a conversation about it? Did you ever have a conversation with him about it? Nothing? Never? Never even discussed in the family?

Tom proudly responds, "What's there to talk about? He's my son." What's there to talk about?" Tom, what planet do you live on? He continued, "it's a point of uh, listen, that's how I feel about it. He's my son. And I love him." (which obviously, he loves his son. You can hear it in his voice and hell, Tom Cruise as your daddy ain't a bad deal) But he continues, "I've never thought about that at all."

Oprah responds with a look of horror, "Really?" But you know Oprah's look of horror is disguise beautifully for her audience. Oprah's a master at strategically dealing with touchy subjects, never alienating her core audience. (again, another blog in itself)

Tom continues, "I've just not thought about that at all. I've just not thought about it."

Oprah says, "No, well, Listen. Obviously, I know you haven't thought about it. It's not an issue for you..." Oprah was almost about to go "there" but Tom interrupted...

"But not even for him..." (meaning it's not an issue for him). Tom continues, "I just don't believe in that. Were all in this together. And we all have to work it out together." Naturally, the audience again roared as Tom accepted his crown for the Queen of World Peace.

Huh? You don't see color. NEWS BULLETIN FOR CONSCIOUS, NON-RACIST WHITE PEOPLE. It's okay to see color. Actually, it's necessary to me for you to see color, to honor the history of our differences and how race plays into our positions on the planet. I need you to see my color to know that you have a respect for it, honor that it is there and a part of who I am. I need you to see color lending to your understanding of the outcomes from the institution of racism, to know that you have a respect for where I'm coming from as an individual.

Can Tom appropriately raise a biracial son without teaching and preparing him what it means to be biracial in America? I don't even know what race mix Tom's son is however, I see dark skin and so will so many others. The kids in Tom's son's school will see that his parents are white because so many other parents have taught their kids to see color and what will Tom's cute son say in response to him being non-white? When Tom's son is out on a date with his white girlfriend and realizes that their experience is getting serious, even if the two of them don't see color, the rest of the world will. Issues of race are prevasive in mixed race couples and shouldn't be ignored as if to say they don't exist. Will his son be prepared for what will come his way - all because of color? The police officer stopping Tom's son because he's driving too nice of a car though the streets of L.A. will see color. The list is endless in ways that make it important for Tom to see color and to honor the history of what his son's color means, and what it will mean in the future. How can anyone believe that there's not anything to discuss around color when we live in a world where color is often used to oppress?

I began by saying that I need Tom Cruise to see color. The truth of the matter is that one day it will become quite apparent that Tom's son, needed Tom to see color.

HIV Negative Man Charged With Felonies

- May, 23rd, 2005

An HIV negative man has been indicted in Fulton and Clayton counties on felony criminal charges for allegedly engaging in consensual sex with seven other men without a condom and without knowing his HIV status, a violation of Anthony's Laws.

Mr. Justas Irresponsible, 37, of College Park, Georgia is charged with one count of reckless conduct in Fulton County and six counts of reckless conduct in Clayton County. All seven charges are felonies and punishble by law.

Anthony, who originally began prosecution of this case after Mr. Irresponsible declined on numerous occasions to be tested at countless AIDS service organizations that offer HIV testing for free, also filed a civil suit in State Court noting that HIV positive people have suffered enough mental abuse from those who believe reduction of HIV transmission should rest with those that are HIV positive. According to Anthony's Laws, there's a "No Tolerance" policy to such discriminatory views of transmission and anyone found relying on this unhealthy way of thinking in order to absorb their own personal responsibility in protecting their status will be subject to serve many years in fear of sero-conversion and/or a life sentence to being HIV positive. And leveling the field of punishment, Anthony's Laws have implemented a potential maximum prison sentence of ten years and additional fines.

"This is ludicrous," screamed Mr. Justas Irresponsible's attorney who was having difficulty reaching Anthony or other legal representation to help settle the matter. "How can someone HIV negative be charged with such a crime? What a ridiculous law? Where are the lawyers charging this case?" Ms. Julie Clueless, who proudly has attempted to prosecute numerous HIV positive people for lack of disclosure of their HIV positive status during consensual sex, but has failed on all occasions was livid. She attempted to reach Anthony by phone, leaving countless belligerent messages. The two spoke by phone days later in which Ms. Clueless demanded the attorney's prosecuting this case to be revealed. Anthony responded simply yet emphatically, "Ms. Clueless! This is Anthony's Law, I don't need lawyers to uphold my law. It is what it is. Now be gone before you're charged. Obstruction of justice is a crime too."

According to the Clayton County indictment, Mr. Irresponsible is accused of "infrequently using condoms," "knowing his risk for HIV and intentionally avoiding to be tested," "never discussing HIV with any of his sexual partners" a punishable crime due to the casual nature of most of Mr. Irresponsible's encounters, "hiding behind Georgia Law that rest disclosure of HIV status on those who are HIV positive" and lastly, the crime most punishable under Anthony's Law - "attempting to use Georgia Law to prosecute an HIV positive individual while being guilty of any of the above offenses to the law."

In 1998, Mr. Irresponsible attempted to access the then new Georgia Law requiring an HIV positive individual to disclose his/her status during sex. Unfortunately for Mr. Irresponsible, when he attempted to file the case, he met with Police Chief Anthony who interrogated the subject with a number of questions. Did you use a condom during the encounters with this man you would like to prosecute? Did you ever discuss HIV with this guy? Or with any of the people that you have sex with? Did you know your own HIV status at the time? Do you have a history of engaging in unsafe sex practices? After this line of questioning began, Mr. Irresponsible quickly decided not to file a case.

Mr. Irresponsible's current case has been assigned to Superior Court Judge Anthony who has been known to never set a hearing date in these cases and usually implements larger fines for those who fight for a hearing or trial. "I know my law and I've become very familiar with the hypocrisy of people who like Mr. Irresponsible, want to have a gift certificate that allows themselves little to no responsibility to protecting their own HIV status."

Under Anthony's Law, it doesn't matter if the person breaking this law is HIV negative or positive. The law clearly states that each individual is responsible for their own personal HIV status and that disclosure of a history of risky behavior is just as important to disclose as an HIV positive status. The law does further detail those your HIV status should not be left up to which includes husbands, wives, perfect or imperfect mates, boyfriends, girlfriends, tricks, pieces, sessions, snacks, educators, counselors, HIV positive or negative people. Although it makes all the sense in the world that a person would be angry at someone not disclosing their HIV positive status, Anthony's Law supports that it is just as stirring to know your risk for HIV while continuing to engage in risky behavior.

In 2005, no one has the freedom of not understanding the consequences of unsafe sex practices. We live in a world where HIV transmission happens everyday. The bottom line is that it takes two people to practice unsafe sex and each individual person choosing to engage unsafely must also sign on the dotted line of being responsible for the potential consequences of their actions. The consequence may include an HIV positive sexual partner not disclosing their HIV status during consensual sex.

In most cases, HIV doens't happen to someone who doesn't allow it to happen to them.

Monogamy: A Four Letter Word

Undeniably, for no other conversation have I received so much hate mail. I'm baffled that because I've achieved a level of honesty with myself about my desire to have more than one sexual partner, I am often considered the anti-Christ. There has been such disdain directed at me for encouraging non-traditional relationship agreements to exist. Why shouldn't I be able to communicate a desire of sex with more than one partner to my partner, potential tricks or dates, friends and others.

For the record, I am not against monogamy FOR YOU. My position has been the same for the past few years and is not some manifestation of unaddressed bitterness or being jaded. I firmly believe, monogamy is a challenge for most men, and becomes a challenge within relationships the longer the two people are together. There, I've said it in a documented form so that hopefully, I won't be misquoted or misunderstood. In other words, if monogamy is for you and you can realistically achieve it, I applaud and support you.

But for most men, monogamy is a challenge and although intellectually, many of us will say that we want this for ourselves, many of us are incapable of delivering it to our relationships. And I won't rest on science or psychology that leads us to evidence of monogamy being a foreign concept for our species. I say many of us are incapable of monogamy because of our history of failure at it.

And please don't share your disagreement with this idea when you consider a long-term relationship two months. Even I've achieved monogamy for years and I don't even believe in it. Only after being in a relationship for many years, can we talk because your point of reference is naive.

Also, don't come to me telling me that you want monogamy with me, this is our goal as we build a new relationship, if you've never achieved it. You've cheated on your last three boyfriends and now you want to set that same restriction of monogamy for us because you have good intentions of achieving this lofty goal. I'm not that boy! I really don't need you to lie to me in this way. Nor do I need the lie of me being the only person you're sexually attracted to. I'm not that boy either!

What I need is your honesty. What I need and hope to find in this life is a world where we don't accept it as normal for lovers to not to be able to share with each other, what they share with their best friends. Where I see most of us living is in a world where sleeping with people outside your relationship is okay, as long as its hidden from your partner. I don't want to live in this world anymore. I've spent a lifetime of hiding my sexuality, I don't want to go back into a closet of hiding my sexual encounters.

What a history we could create for ourselves if we could be more honest about our sexual desires! Let's stop trying to impress the next man, your next ex-boyfriend because he too will find out that you're incapable of what you speak into most rooms for sake of not appearing to be whorish. For most men, monogamy is a four letter word, and this point is proven by our actions.

When Was The Last Time Music Made You Cry?

I've just listened to Desree's "Kissing You" from the soundtrack of the modern day movie Romeo and Juliet and it does it to me every time.