Who Grew Up and Became a True White Woman

I'm all about an artist growing and changing. It's my little complaint about Janet Jackson; the one artist next to probably the Purple Badness himself - Prince, that I would kill to have thier repertoire of songs. Attending her concerts as Janet zooms through hit after hit of songs that I love, songs that make me dance and sing, songs that were soundtrack to so much of my life, I'm moved and inspired. I'm floored by it.

But then 20 years later, so much from "Damita Jo" could have been album tracks on Rythm Nation. My one complaint of the fabulous Janet Jackson is that I don't see much growth as an artist, as a songwriter over the years. She has stuck with the same "cookie-cutter" formula of hit making - almost dissing artistry for commercial success. How hot would it be if Janet Jackson did a neo-soul full CD along the lines of "Got Til It's Gone" from Velvet Rope? Or what about a CD of all ballads or covers? I would even be down for Janet's rock CD - a la "Black Cat" or "What About." For me, it wouldn't then be about commercial success but about where you take me spiritually, move me to think, showing and expressing other sides of Janet that we haven't seen. That's being an artist to me.

Personally, the same can not be said of Madonna. It's not even a comparasion of two great talents (I would kill first for Janet's repertoire of songs but then I would kill to have impacted social thought and culture the way Madonna has). With that said, what can always be said of Madonna is that she is never creating the same album. I love that. She tries different things, different formulas, different styles of music. I love that she's growing and changing and experimenting as an artist and songwriter. This is the essence of being an artist to me.

With that said, Madonna has truly grown up and become a white woman. For this, I am pissed off. As a fan since 14 or so, I naturally rushed out and bought "Confessions on a Dancefloor" because Queen Madonna is releasing another CD and I've got to be a part of it.

What the HELL is this? I am soooooo let down by this CD. Madonna made a CD for white gay kidz at the club on Friday and Saturday night, not the club that some of us black gay kidz go to. This is white gay club music where we are not welcomed. Not one soulful club production!!! NOT EVEN ONE!!! How do you do a dance album and not honor the origin of house and club which was created by black DJs promoted first in the black and hip clubs? Before there was techo, there was original house music. And before we had this Madonna, the one with the British accent, we had the Madonna that people thought was black on RnB radio, played in black and hip clubs. Where is she? And will we ever get her back?

My dear friend Maurice and I, the only person I know with just as many CDs as me and who I will run into during midnight runs to Tower Records for the latest new release; we were talking about Ms. Madonna's new project that I just had to have 9 hours or so before everyone else. We both listened in disappointment. And the only answer to this growth of Madonna as an artist that can explain why we have "Confessions on a Dancefloor" is that Madonna truly grew up and became a white woman, a true white woman. It's what my friends joke - a white woman from Buckhead (**ritzy part of Atlanta)!!!

These are not the confessions of any black person I know. These are not the confessions at any of the clubs I go to, any of the dancefloors I may visit. Where is "my" Madonna? Where is the Madonna that would have gone left with "Ray of Light" and went just as far right with productions by Timbaland or the Neptunes. I guess this is why we now have Gwen Steffani.

All I'm saying is that I feel so left out of "Confessions on a Dancefloor." Sure, grow as an artist, but don't consistently forget some of your fans, the original fans as you grow.

The Two Girls and a Queen Morning Show

Miss Sophia, in my opinion - the funniest person on the planet has just been added to Atlanta’s Big Station, V103’s Frank and Wanda Morning Show.

And this isn't the watered-down version of Miss Sophia, palatable to mainstream radio, a dressed up version appropriate for the masses. This is the same ole Miss Sophia that I've been knowing and loving for over 12 years, since our first meeting when we both lived in Dallas. Yes, the same Ms. Sophia that eerily seems to have been replicated by Mr. Tyler Perry’s Madea character. Hush my mouth!!

She came on the show in rare form renaming the Frank and Wanda Morning Show. "The show is now called Two Girls and a Queen Morning Show" Miss Sophia playing on the kidz quizzing of Frank’s sexuality. Miss Sophia roared through the morning show as did all the queens and butch queens stuck in their cars listening, hanging onto every word of history in the making. One of Us has truly come up on a come up.

Why is this so important? It's one of us with an opportunity to represent, to the masses, AS IS!! This is not to be played with and the evidence unfolded within minutes of Miss Sophia’s presence.

Ironically, earlier in the day's show *08/23/05, there was a discussion about gay men being able to attend the upcoming Million Man March revisit. Ms. Lisa Clark, guest traffic host on today’s show was understood to have said that gay men shouldn’t come because it’s the Million MAN March, emphasizing man as if gay men aren’t men. I was furious. And it got worst as Frank Ski began to enquire about what she meant. She further put her foot in her mouth, attempting to back down from her original blunder by stating that she has heard many gay men say that they don’t believe they’re men, as if this homophobic traffic girl has gay friends to speak to, as if to say her comment was inspired by Us, gay men in the community. NO LISA GIRL! You just f**ked up, stating a comment usually reserved for your homophobic personal spaces - and you said it ON V103 RADIO, for the masses to hear. STUPID! And Miss Sophia is about to come on. What were you thinking?

Unlike so many other times where such comments are made and I fax, call my friends at the station, call my friends to fax and call and more faxing with no return calls or validation that my point has even been heard, Miss Sophia came to the rescue. Miss Sophia let Ms. Homophobe Lisa have it, naturally in a very comedic way. "I heard what you said Ms. Lisa girl. Don't be talking about Us. I don't care what you supposedly heard. Don't be talking about Us girl," Miss Sophia got with Ms. Lisa. But even if it were just comedy, I finally felt that my point of view was also heard and mattered because Miss Sophia has a voice, spoke and represented me at The Big Station.

And it may have even gone further as Miss Sophia stated at her show the next night - and I quote “Yesterday Ms. Lisa was reporting the traffic, today, she’s sitting in traffic looking for a job,” which explained why I didn’t hear her when I listened earlier in the day. True or not, I feel my viewpoint has been heard and matters. YES! YES! YES!

With it all said, I’m so happy and proud that another door for Us has been opened. And I hope that this doesn’t unfold as so many doors opened for us in the past. Now that this door has been opened, let’s actually walk through it.

Looking for Kanye

Kanye West says "gay" has become an antonym to hip-hop!!! And that it needs to be stopped. What?!!! That statement alone is like Whoa! This is revolutionary. That's why I'm looking for Kanye.

I wonder if Kanye even knows the depths of what this means. He has to know his position and influence in the industry but does he even realize the "hot seat" this places him on, what assumptions will be made about him because of his honesty. If he realized this before his comments, then WHOA!! This is what activism is all about. This is truly revolutionary.

I've been hot and warm on Kanye as an artist. I like him. I'm not goo-goo for him but I like his songs and have even seen him in concert. But I was never crazy about him....UNTIL NOW. Now, I love this man.

Here it is a successful rapper/producer who is really at the beginning of an already flourishing career, but surely more is to come and without apparent fear for loosing what's to come, states this truth. WOW! I've been asking the Universe for this for so long and have often wondered why more {{rappers especially}} haven't come out and spoken the same truth. This is someone who doesn't have to be on the hot-seat of all that will be assumed about him because of such ambitious and brutally honest statements, and he does it, says his truth, the truth about rap and the industry. I'm so impressed. He's the realest of the rappers for me right now.

And I've already seen the chat room discussions, heard the conversations that now questions Kanye's sexuality. STOP IT!! What does it matter? And why not save that for closeted rappers that help perpetuate the problem of homophobia in hip-hop along with the hip-hop homophobes and industry leaders that refuse to challenge this huge problem. Direct that attention to the closeted rappers that Wendy Williams has been so on-point about. {{And I know she's on point for countless reasons - doubtfully another blog because I'm not about the spirit of outing people, even to further our causes.}} Let's not make it harder for another brotha, for another rapper to speak this truth, to combine with Kanye's truth and eventually so many others that will get it that eventually, the problem can be disbanned. Let's not play yet again our own enemy by even engaging in this defeating discussion.

West says hip-hop was always about "speaking your mind and about breaking down barriers, but everyone in hip-hop discriminates against gay people." He adds that in slang, gay is "the opposite, the exact opposite word of hip-hop. Not just hip-hop, but America just discriminates. And I wanna just, to come on TV and just tell my rappers, just tell my friends, 'Yo, stop it.'" Man, I'm buzzing!

This is so great to hear especially after I attended the Atlantis Music Conference here in Atlanta and got somewhat discouraged about the closeted industry that tells me I'm "not going to be accepted as a mainstream artist" because I want to speak my truth about my sexuality within my songs. This and other homophobic messages coming at me from not only straight industry professionals, but sadly US, gay-but-closeted-with-no-plans-to-come-out industry professionals that are afraid of supporting Anthony Antoine and others like me because that support may "out" them. There are US in the music business that have suggested that I go back in the closet in order to be more accepted. This suggested made as the huge pink elephant sits in the room that this nonsense is being spoken by one of us. Does this make any sense? This is coming from US.

Some of us don't even do what Kanye did for ourselves, place ourselves on the hot seat of allowing the stereotypes to be assumed of us in order to change perceptions, a facilitation of social change, showing by example what it truly means to be gay. Some of us don't even challenge homophobia. Why is this? I've said the reason so many times, that we are privledged {{especially black}} folks trying to hold on to our little piece of pie, the piece of pie we so happy to have and afraid to lose. And we don't do these revolutionary acts, say these revolutionary statements because of fear, especially the fear of loosing our tiny piece of pie. And our pie is even smaller than Kanye's but we hold so tight to it. BUT WE COULD HAVE SO MUCH MORE.

If only we would take a chance. If only we wasn't holding on to that little piece of pie. But not Kanye with his statements. Kanye took a huge risk, took a chance. Kanye spoke the truth regardless of the outcomes and he didn't just say it in some small way so that twelve of us would hear it, he said it on MTV. That's why Kanye is so on point for his comments.

So if you run into Kanye, tell him that I'm looking for him. I'm looking for him to say thank-you, thank-you for being about the true essence of hip-hop. Thank-you for saying what so many others in the industry won't say, not even US in the industry will take a chance to say and challenge. Also, tell him I'm looking for him because Kanye's just the type of industry professional that will understand why Anthony Antoine is a premiere jewel of independent artists that exist to combat the very problem he spoke about on MTV. Kanye's just the industry professional to realize what mainstream industry has slept on in Anthony Antoine - and all for the wrong reason.

Damn homophobia in not just hip-hop, not just the music industry, but in life.

Another Millionaire In My Phone

Today, I added another millionaire's phone number to my phone's address book. Why is this important or worth blogging about? I really don't know yet. Honestly, I'm stepping out on a term I learned earlier today called "The Tipping Point," that point that transitions an apiring artist to the point of achieving and living the dream.

I learned this term from someone who works at So So Def Records and the context of why I'm writing was not only motivated by him, but also by my mom who is often entertained by the people that I meet and the places I've been. My words are also inspired by the seemlingly perfect alignment of the stars that has facilitated chance "meetings" of famous and successful singers, song writers, producers, record label executives and more- those who are living the life that I want to live for myself. As explained to me, this is a part of how you achieve the dream, by associating yourself with those who are already living it.

For example, six months ago, I missed a flight from Atlanta to D.C. not because I wasn't already at the airport way early (chillin' and reading a book waiting) but because I looked at my boarding pass incorrectly transposing numbers which caused me to be at the wrong gate. By the time I realized that I transposed the numbers (something that never happens to me), I rushed to the correct gate and missed the flight. I asked myself "why did this happen?" as I was being switched to the next flight out an hour later.

Within minutes of sitting down at my new gate, Jermaine Dupri sits down less than 20 feet away from me. Huh? Now Jermaine Dupri sitting down next to someone who doesn't love music as much as I do OR MORE IMPORTANT - someone who isn't hustling independent music in hopes to end up in a position like a Jermaine Dupri, this means absolutely nothing. But to me, this is another chance, another break that I had to work. As I'm typing this, I realized that this wasn't the first time that I've met Jermaine Dupri. The first time that I met Jermaine Dupri was April 29, 2004 at approximately 5:00pm driving down Ponce de Leon Ave. on my way to Xtreme Entertainment's first Woman of Soul concert. See, this is what I mean. How many of you are simply driving down the street and Jermain Dupri pulls up next to you with his window down, boppin' his head to music. These are the kinds of chance meetings that happen to me on the regular. Naturally, on both occassions, I got to pass some of my music and have a quick conversation. Yes, even on Ponce.

Same thing happened today. I did expect to meet a few music business folks being that I am attending the Atlantis Music Conference. Most people attending the conference are meeting the esteemed panelist from all aspects of the music business. But let's just say that not only did I meet this millionaire, I was cruised by this millionaire, not knowing who it was. The end result once I made the connection was to have a conversation about my new CD Closets on Fire and how he could help to make it a success. We've since exchanged numbers and now talk on the phone.

This was truly confirmation to what I heard earlier about "The Tipping Point" and how you'll know it's the tipping point for you when "without effort (notwithstanding preparation), the people you'll need to know will begin to show up and not just show up, but they will be people in your cell phone, people you have access to, people that will eventually be a circle that you'll run in and be very familiar in." Exact words, "if you want to be a millionaire, surround yourself with millionaires. If you want to be a successful recording artist, surround yourself with successful recording artist. And don't just be around them, these are the people that should be in your cell phone." These exact words (with elaboration) were just said to me earlier today.

When it was said, I went to my phone's address book and counted seven. Seven people that I know and have access to that are living the life that I want to live, successful in the fields that I aspire to be successful in, seven millionaires in my phone that are on the other side of the tipping point. What a blessing!

How many millionaires are in your phone? Which is truly a metaphor for how many people do you know, that you keep in touch with, that you spend time with and associate with that are living the life, the dreams that you have for yourself? If it's not many, then as explained to me, it's a piece of why you're not living your dream.

Pieces of My Dream

Today, I heard my song "How To Tell If Your Man Is On The Down Low" on the radio. Atlanta's top rated radio show "The Frank and Wanda Morning Show" played the song for the first time during a trite discussion with J.L.King.

Once I realized what the show's topic was about *call from my boo Dereck,* I called V103's Assistant Program Director Tosha Love to remind her that she has my CD and at least could play it during the discussion. Then I called radio personality and friend Jean Ross who works at WAOK - V103's sister station that's housed in the same building to ask her to take a copy in to the morning show. Props to her because she's the first person on radio that I know of that played the song and another song "Shake Yo Body" from the CD. Then I called J.L. King on his cell phone (his alter ego "33" and I are friends - blog on this soon to come) during one of the commercial breaks and told him to make sure that the show played it. But at that point, I was at a loss as to what else I could do to make the play happen.

So then I decided to go down to the station and sit in their lobby in hopes to meeting with someone who could help me achieve a piece of my dream. I followed employees of the radio station into the bathroom and passed them a CD to take in to my favorite morning show. I badgered (not really but really - Janet Jack is sooo sweet and hardworking) the receptionist and noted to everyone at the station within my voice that I wasn't leaving until my song was played. After being in the lobby for about 45 minutes (naturally, no one would meet with me on the spot) and after passing about 8 copies of my CD "Closets on Fire," AND a whole lot of prayers (momma taught me to pray) my phone began to blow up.

First my friends and co-workers at ARCA called. Then my friend and dancer Coy called in which I could hear it blasting in the background. Then my best friend David called and I could still hear it in the background. Then about thirty more calls came in from friends to say congratulations and that they heard the song. How hot is this?

I jumped. I danced. I shouted. I thanked God. I celebrated with the rap group visiting the station early in hopes that Tosha would listen to their new CD and song, in hopes that V103 would do for the them the very thing that they were doing for me, PLAYING AN INDEPENDENT ARTIST'S SONG. For this group, I suddenly moved from a fellow independent artist to expert on how to get a song played on V103. This was a great feeling.

So with a lot of perserverance and nothing short of a blessing, I've achieved another piece of my dream. I hold on tight to soon, and hopefully very soon (a brotha got some bills to pay and a daughter to put through college) very soon, these little pieces are going to add up to a dream fulfilled.

Today, I Met a Real Cowboy

Heaven was at the Rodeo today! How beautiful is this man???? I'll be playing lottery tomorrow, #134. I'm feeling lucky.

My Top Ten List of Favorite Concert Performers

Do you remember your first concert? Mine was one of those group concerts with about ten performers but I remember the female rap group Sequence (with Angie B, now Angie Stone) being on the line-up and that's who I was excited to see. "Gonna funk you right on up, gonna funk you right on up!" Remember that? Well that was my first concert? It was probably 1982.

Shortly after that, my mom surprised my brother and I with what was our second concert for our 14th and 15th birthdays. My brother's birthday is the day after mine (October 21st and 22nd - he's a year younger) and at our birthday party, we were instructed to open our wrapped gift boxes at the same time. It was a very light box and as teenagers do, we shook our individual boxes and began to guess what it was inside. To our surprise, it was tickets to see Prince's Purple Rain tour which was scheduled for 11/28/84 in Washington, D.C. at The Capitol Center.

I jumped around the house for a good ten minutes as my friends watch on with envy. The Purple Rain tour was the concert ticket to have. Being that the concert was sold-out (within minutes), my brother and I had given up the idea of even going. At the time, there was no internet purchases. Then you had to camp out for the hottest concert tickets or pay someone who camped out a very nice chunk of change, more than what my mom was going to pay. But somehow, as my mom did all of our lives (trip to Canada, my first flight to London, etc.) , mom made sure that her sons were exposed to some of the best that life had to offer a teenager. Thanks Mom!!

Again, at the time, I didn't know that this concert would change my life. I had never seen Prince in concert. And although I loved Sheila E.'s "The Glamous Life" (song only - didn't have the album yet), I initially wanted to see Prince. But the night of the concert, I fell in love.

I wasn't prepared for Sheila E's performance. She was supposed to be the opening act however, after she finished, Prince didn't even have to come on. I fell deep in love. I was amazed at this woman being so sexy yet so damn talented. Up until then, I thought Sheila was just another Prince protege. She proved otherwise, playing the drums and timbales like crazy, picking up a guitar and playing, choosing a man from the audience and singing in his ear, just working the stage with such confidence and talent. I was so upset that I wasn't closer when they chose someone from the audience (the first time I had seen this concert trick done) and died at the thought of it happening to me. (Little did I know that this would happen to me some twenty years later, that Sheila would choose me from one of her audiences and give me the opportunity to sing with her on stage.) Seeing Sheila E. in concert changed my life, reaffirming for me that I wanted to perform and solidifying me to a life of chasing this woman around the planet to see another Sheila E. concert.

I've seen everyone from Aretha Franklin to LL Cool J in concert. But neither of these make my Top Ten List of Favorite Concerts - (this was a later Aretha show and it wasn't as great as I expected). The truth be told, I've seen Sheila E. in concert about thirty times, no exaggeration. The Prince "Lovesexy" tour came to London at least four times in one week and I went to every show because Sheila E. was playing drums. Now I must give it to Prince because Prince is one of the few performers that when you see shows from the same tour, you get a different show each night (unlike Madonna, Janet or even Michael Jackson which takes perfection in itself). Sheila E. has learned this well from her mentor as I've seen her night after night and she gives a different show each time. With all this said, guess who's number 1 on My Top Ten List of Favorite Concert Performers...

1. Sheila E. and Patti Labelle
2. Janet Jackson
3. Luther Vandross
4. Prince
5. Michael Jackson
6. Madonna
7. Chante Moore
8. Rachelle Farrell
9. Jennifer Holiday
10. Jennifer Hudson

The most surprising on this list is Rachell Rarrell, not because of her talent but because I wasn't a fan at the time I first saw her live. I was clueless to the depth of her as an artist but was given her concert ticket at the last minute because a co-worker/friend had just broke up with his boyfriend the same day as the concert and so he didn't want to go. Out of wanting to not waste a concert ticket, I went to check her out. My GOD!! If you've never seen this woman in concert, it's a must-see before you die. She's a ball of underrated energy and her voice is an instrument in and of itself.

Lastly, as an "honorable mention" to this list is surprisingly - Brandy. I went to see her show, taking another friend's extra ticket and so, not to waste a concert ticket, went to see Brandy give a fab performance. I like Brandy's music but would have never guessed that Brandy would probably be listed as number 11 to this list.

The First Time Any Song Made Me Cry

Luther's "A House Is Not A Home!"

I will miss this man and the new music that I'm sure was still to come. He is one of the few artists that has a career over decades and I still care even today. There's many artists that I note to love the earlier releases ONLY of their work - however, Luther's "I'd Rather" or "Dance With My Father" is just as classic as "Forever, For Always, For Love." I would have been all about ten more Luther CDs and let's not forget his concerts...who can touch this man?

We have truly lost one of the greatest in Soul Music today, certainly one of the best, most distinctive male vocalist of our times. No one will come close to what this man has offered to us through his music and spirit.

Top Ten Favorite Songs

Okay, I've been to the therapist a few times this week over the betrayal that I feel for torturing myself with choosing a Top Ten Favorite Songs List. The most painful acknowledgment is that there are ten songs I would place above Donnie Hathaway's "A Song For You." Ouch!! That hurts my fingers to type such craziness so I'm sure you can imagine what my head feels like. And so I don't have to visit the therapist three or four more times soon, let me go ahead and mention Boyz To Men "I'm Doin' Fine" which didn't cause as much stress as most artists on my list have songs recorded in the 70s. This is almost a requirement for a Top Ten Song list. With that said, here goes an attempt at such disloyalty. This should come with a "Do Not Try This At Home" warning. At least not without psychological help. Contact me first if you're needing help with finding a therapist that specializes in this area of expertise.

1. Desree's "Kissing You"
2. Alexander O'Neal's "Crying Overtime"
3. Aretha Franklin's "Hurts Like Hell"
4. Chante Moore's "As If We Never Met"
5. Jennifer Holiday's "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going"
6. Shirley Murdock's "Go On Without You"
7. Prince's "How Come You Don't Call Me"
8. Harold Melvin and The Bluenotes featuring Teddy Pendergrass "I Miss You"
9. Patti Labelle "If Only You Knew"
10. Alanis Morrisette's "You Outta Know"

Almost all songs, with one exception "You Outta Know" are songs that regularly bring me to tears when I listen to them. And Alanis Morrisette's entire CD has moved me so over the years countless times. For that song, it's not as much about bringing up the emotion all over for me, but more about how she captured the emotion so well with honest, raw lyrics. When I'm moved to tears over that song, it's more about the artistry of creating and that someone is so open, they can put together such lyrics and meloday to capture the emotion. And this emotion is not an easy one to admit to having and she just gave it like "WHOA!"

Surely in my Top Twenty list in no order would be Prince's "I Love You In Me", Teena Marie and Rick James with "Fire and Desire" and Billy Ocean's "Suddenly" - just to name a few more.

If you've never heard Prince's "I Love U In Me," pick up Prince's "B-sides" off of "The Hits." I first came to know this song in London as a bootleg. Then it was included on "The Hits" - the "B-sides" CD. Prince writes from a female perspective about his female partner saying to him "I love you in me." The "in" me meaning "inside" me and he sings it with such passion and layers of harmony that I imagine him singing it to me. I can't help but to go there in my head that His Purple Badness is underneath me singing...

Okay, that's my fantasy and I'm sticking to it.

A Song For Q

I've been to so many parties in my life and times
I've heard a lot of songs
I've heard some bad rhymes
I've acted out a flirt in stages
10,000 people watching

And now that I'm alone,
I'm thinking of a song for Q

Thanks for reminding me of what I should already know.

My Top Ten Favorite Album/CDs

How hard is this to do? What music means to me is impossible to capture by words. With that said, my attempt to create my "Top Ten" list of favorite albums/CDs will probably most serve as a reminder to me, what the soundtrack of my life has been. Surely, there have been certain songs (Top Ten Song List soon to follow) but this is the definitive, bench-mark albums/CDs for my life. These are the must-have full length efforts that if I were deserted on an island, I would chose to have with me. These are the CDs, that when listened to, changed and continue to change my life.



1. Aretha Franklin's "Sparkle"
2. Stevie Wonder's "Song In The Key of Life"
3. Sheila E's "The Glamorous Life"
4. Janet Jackson's "Control"
5. Michael Jackson's "Dangerous"
6. Prince "Sign O' The Times"
7. Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet"
8. George Michael's "Faith"
9. Sandra St. Victor's "Mack Diva Saves The World"
10. Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill"

1. Aretha Franklin's "Sparkle" - I truly should say Aretha Franklin and Curtis Mayfield's Sparkle because Curtis Mayfield wrote the HELL out some songs and Aretha Franklin kills everyone of 'em. The best 30 seconds of recorded singing EVER to me is the background singers (Cissy Houston included) on song 1 - the title track "Sparkle" - towards the very end of the song with Aretha's untouchable hollars of adlibs. It's one of those moments in recorded music history that the industry should have shut down for at least a year in honor of what Aretha and the collective delivered. This woman's voice has yet to be touched and is one of our National Treasures. Sure, she has delived too much music to choose from that could end up on this list (any Aretha Franklin's Greatest Hits "pre-1980" and Aretha's "A Rose Is Still A Rose" included) however, "Sparkle" is my definitive all time favorite album ever.

I NEED TOM CRUISE TO SEE COLOR

Watching Oprah today, I was disturbed by her conversation with Tom Cruise. Apart from the fact that I still wish Tom to be gay so that I can continue my dreams of at least one "session" with him, which was depleated (or inflated depending how you interpret his behavior) by his over-the-top expression of being in love with Katie Holmes. Somehow I'm finding it difficult to understand that this man who is so sensitive, caring and concious is also heterosexual - but that's another blog entry.

Anyway - Oprah asked Tom about his bi-racial son. Now, thanks to DVR, I can quote Tom and Oprah word for word. Naturally, you don't get tone and facial expressions in written words however, you can get an idea of why I'm so disturbed.

Oprah began, "You have a biracial son...it never seems to be, you never have mentioned it, you never mention race, yet your son is obviously of a different race. How did you? (Oprah, seeming to begin to ask with assumption that there's at least been internal discussion about what this means)."

Tom interupted, "He's from the human race. He's from man-kind. I don't see color. You know, I don't..."

Oprah's audience roared. Naturally, an audience of mostly white women who wouldn't understand any concern of why this isn't something to applaud.

Oprah then asked, as I thought in my mind..."Was it ever discussed in the family? Did you ever have a conversation about it? Did you ever have a conversation with him about it? Nothing? Never? Never even discussed in the family?

Tom proudly responds, "What's there to talk about? He's my son." What's there to talk about?" Tom, what planet do you live on? He continued, "it's a point of uh, listen, that's how I feel about it. He's my son. And I love him." (which obviously, he loves his son. You can hear it in his voice and hell, Tom Cruise as your daddy ain't a bad deal) But he continues, "I've never thought about that at all."

Oprah responds with a look of horror, "Really?" But you know Oprah's look of horror is disguise beautifully for her audience. Oprah's a master at strategically dealing with touchy subjects, never alienating her core audience. (again, another blog in itself)

Tom continues, "I've just not thought about that at all. I've just not thought about it."

Oprah says, "No, well, Listen. Obviously, I know you haven't thought about it. It's not an issue for you..." Oprah was almost about to go "there" but Tom interrupted...

"But not even for him..." (meaning it's not an issue for him). Tom continues, "I just don't believe in that. Were all in this together. And we all have to work it out together." Naturally, the audience again roared as Tom accepted his crown for the Queen of World Peace.

Huh? You don't see color. NEWS BULLETIN FOR CONSCIOUS, NON-RACIST WHITE PEOPLE. It's okay to see color. Actually, it's necessary to me for you to see color, to honor the history of our differences and how race plays into our positions on the planet. I need you to see my color to know that you have a respect for it, honor that it is there and a part of who I am. I need you to see color lending to your understanding of the outcomes from the institution of racism, to know that you have a respect for where I'm coming from as an individual.

Can Tom appropriately raise a biracial son without teaching and preparing him what it means to be biracial in America? I don't even know what race mix Tom's son is however, I see dark skin and so will so many others. The kids in Tom's son's school will see that his parents are white because so many other parents have taught their kids to see color and what will Tom's cute son say in response to him being non-white? When Tom's son is out on a date with his white girlfriend and realizes that their experience is getting serious, even if the two of them don't see color, the rest of the world will. Issues of race are prevasive in mixed race couples and shouldn't be ignored as if to say they don't exist. Will his son be prepared for what will come his way - all because of color? The police officer stopping Tom's son because he's driving too nice of a car though the streets of L.A. will see color. The list is endless in ways that make it important for Tom to see color and to honor the history of what his son's color means, and what it will mean in the future. How can anyone believe that there's not anything to discuss around color when we live in a world where color is often used to oppress?

I began by saying that I need Tom Cruise to see color. The truth of the matter is that one day it will become quite apparent that Tom's son, needed Tom to see color.

HIV Negative Man Charged With Felonies

- May, 23rd, 2005

An HIV negative man has been indicted in Fulton and Clayton counties on felony criminal charges for allegedly engaging in consensual sex with seven other men without a condom and without knowing his HIV status, a violation of Anthony's Laws.

Mr. Justas Irresponsible, 37, of College Park, Georgia is charged with one count of reckless conduct in Fulton County and six counts of reckless conduct in Clayton County. All seven charges are felonies and punishble by law.

Anthony, who originally began prosecution of this case after Mr. Irresponsible declined on numerous occasions to be tested at countless AIDS service organizations that offer HIV testing for free, also filed a civil suit in State Court noting that HIV positive people have suffered enough mental abuse from those who believe reduction of HIV transmission should rest with those that are HIV positive. According to Anthony's Laws, there's a "No Tolerance" policy to such discriminatory views of transmission and anyone found relying on this unhealthy way of thinking in order to absorb their own personal responsibility in protecting their status will be subject to serve many years in fear of sero-conversion and/or a life sentence to being HIV positive. And leveling the field of punishment, Anthony's Laws have implemented a potential maximum prison sentence of ten years and additional fines.

"This is ludicrous," screamed Mr. Justas Irresponsible's attorney who was having difficulty reaching Anthony or other legal representation to help settle the matter. "How can someone HIV negative be charged with such a crime? What a ridiculous law? Where are the lawyers charging this case?" Ms. Julie Clueless, who proudly has attempted to prosecute numerous HIV positive people for lack of disclosure of their HIV positive status during consensual sex, but has failed on all occasions was livid. She attempted to reach Anthony by phone, leaving countless belligerent messages. The two spoke by phone days later in which Ms. Clueless demanded the attorney's prosecuting this case to be revealed. Anthony responded simply yet emphatically, "Ms. Clueless! This is Anthony's Law, I don't need lawyers to uphold my law. It is what it is. Now be gone before you're charged. Obstruction of justice is a crime too."

According to the Clayton County indictment, Mr. Irresponsible is accused of "infrequently using condoms," "knowing his risk for HIV and intentionally avoiding to be tested," "never discussing HIV with any of his sexual partners" a punishable crime due to the casual nature of most of Mr. Irresponsible's encounters, "hiding behind Georgia Law that rest disclosure of HIV status on those who are HIV positive" and lastly, the crime most punishable under Anthony's Law - "attempting to use Georgia Law to prosecute an HIV positive individual while being guilty of any of the above offenses to the law."

In 1998, Mr. Irresponsible attempted to access the then new Georgia Law requiring an HIV positive individual to disclose his/her status during sex. Unfortunately for Mr. Irresponsible, when he attempted to file the case, he met with Police Chief Anthony who interrogated the subject with a number of questions. Did you use a condom during the encounters with this man you would like to prosecute? Did you ever discuss HIV with this guy? Or with any of the people that you have sex with? Did you know your own HIV status at the time? Do you have a history of engaging in unsafe sex practices? After this line of questioning began, Mr. Irresponsible quickly decided not to file a case.

Mr. Irresponsible's current case has been assigned to Superior Court Judge Anthony who has been known to never set a hearing date in these cases and usually implements larger fines for those who fight for a hearing or trial. "I know my law and I've become very familiar with the hypocrisy of people who like Mr. Irresponsible, want to have a gift certificate that allows themselves little to no responsibility to protecting their own HIV status."

Under Anthony's Law, it doesn't matter if the person breaking this law is HIV negative or positive. The law clearly states that each individual is responsible for their own personal HIV status and that disclosure of a history of risky behavior is just as important to disclose as an HIV positive status. The law does further detail those your HIV status should not be left up to which includes husbands, wives, perfect or imperfect mates, boyfriends, girlfriends, tricks, pieces, sessions, snacks, educators, counselors, HIV positive or negative people. Although it makes all the sense in the world that a person would be angry at someone not disclosing their HIV positive status, Anthony's Law supports that it is just as stirring to know your risk for HIV while continuing to engage in risky behavior.

In 2005, no one has the freedom of not understanding the consequences of unsafe sex practices. We live in a world where HIV transmission happens everyday. The bottom line is that it takes two people to practice unsafe sex and each individual person choosing to engage unsafely must also sign on the dotted line of being responsible for the potential consequences of their actions. The consequence may include an HIV positive sexual partner not disclosing their HIV status during consensual sex.

In most cases, HIV doens't happen to someone who doesn't allow it to happen to them.

Monogamy: A Four Letter Word

Undeniably, for no other conversation have I received so much hate mail. I'm baffled that because I've achieved a level of honesty with myself about my desire to have more than one sexual partner, I am often considered the anti-Christ. There has been such disdain directed at me for encouraging non-traditional relationship agreements to exist. Why shouldn't I be able to communicate a desire of sex with more than one partner to my partner, potential tricks or dates, friends and others.

For the record, I am not against monogamy FOR YOU. My position has been the same for the past few years and is not some manifestation of unaddressed bitterness or being jaded. I firmly believe, monogamy is a challenge for most men, and becomes a challenge within relationships the longer the two people are together. There, I've said it in a documented form so that hopefully, I won't be misquoted or misunderstood. In other words, if monogamy is for you and you can realistically achieve it, I applaud and support you.

But for most men, monogamy is a challenge and although intellectually, many of us will say that we want this for ourselves, many of us are incapable of delivering it to our relationships. And I won't rest on science or psychology that leads us to evidence of monogamy being a foreign concept for our species. I say many of us are incapable of monogamy because of our history of failure at it.

And please don't share your disagreement with this idea when you consider a long-term relationship two months. Even I've achieved monogamy for years and I don't even believe in it. Only after being in a relationship for many years, can we talk because your point of reference is naive.

Also, don't come to me telling me that you want monogamy with me, this is our goal as we build a new relationship, if you've never achieved it. You've cheated on your last three boyfriends and now you want to set that same restriction of monogamy for us because you have good intentions of achieving this lofty goal. I'm not that boy! I really don't need you to lie to me in this way. Nor do I need the lie of me being the only person you're sexually attracted to. I'm not that boy either!

What I need is your honesty. What I need and hope to find in this life is a world where we don't accept it as normal for lovers to not to be able to share with each other, what they share with their best friends. Where I see most of us living is in a world where sleeping with people outside your relationship is okay, as long as its hidden from your partner. I don't want to live in this world anymore. I've spent a lifetime of hiding my sexuality, I don't want to go back into a closet of hiding my sexual encounters.

What a history we could create for ourselves if we could be more honest about our sexual desires! Let's stop trying to impress the next man, your next ex-boyfriend because he too will find out that you're incapable of what you speak into most rooms for sake of not appearing to be whorish. For most men, monogamy is a four letter word, and this point is proven by our actions.

When Was The Last Time Music Made You Cry?

I've just listened to Desree's "Kissing You" from the soundtrack of the modern day movie Romeo and Juliet and it does it to me every time.

A Charmed Life

Have you ever had so many unrelated people say the same thing to you? This has been my experience all week. If I hear another person say the exact words " you lead a very charmed life" I'll swear it's the evidence of predestination unravelling before me, some already written script-of-the-week.

Because of very close friends in Xtreme Entertainment - www.xtremeentertainment.com, I've had the distinct pleasure of riding in a limo with Chante Moore today. She arrived here alone for the 2005 Women of Soul Concert here in Atlanta and it was my duty to make sure she got safely situated in her hotel. We chatted much about nothing and it meant everything to me being that I'm such a fan. But naturally, I kept it very professional and didn't let it show. I can't wait to sleep in order to scream in my dreams. Tomorrow, it will be picking up Deborah Cox and Shemar Moore from the airport and Saturday it will be none other than the fiercest musician on the planet, and my lifetime favorite performer - Sheila E. (My third time meeting her) I wonder if I'll have the opportunity to sing on stage with her again.

Wait a minute, it just hit me. I lead a very charmed life.

The Revolution Will Not Be Emailed

You will not be able to stay home my brother
Sit in your comfortable chair stained by hours and hours of late night sessions of searchin’
Stay connected too cause of a new Broadband link
Part of the privileged black folk with computers and thangs
Mo gadgets got you confused that maybe social change occurs
With yo half-assed concern about the issues
I’m too busy right now
You should have done it this way advice for the activist few
Oh nah, my brother
The revolution will not be emailed

The revolution will not be this comfortable movement
That allows the cushions in your closet to stay fresh and cozy
For your odd-shaped head full of warped thoughts that somehow
You will be untouched by the remonstration
A protest affording you the right to ride the elevator with that white woman
Still afraid of you
Not only because you’re black but cause you’re sweet
And you thinking no one know
As you ride up to yo corporate office where the first thing you do is log on
Again I told you the revolution will not be emailed

You will not be able to open an empty document, start typing fast, format the text
Attach your care and concern and hit send
Hoping for an auto-response honoring your absentee ballad of participation
You won’t find the answer to oppression on Google
And Yahoo ain’t got no free plan that allows you the freedom to not involve yourself

The revolution will not be emailed
The revolution will not be lead by Hotmail, AOL, DSL or J. L. King
That you read E. Lynn Harris
Won’t give you a gift certificate entitling you to a chauffeur to the revolution
The revolution will have you in the driver’s seat
Seat belt or not, airbags or not
They’ll be no rebooting your ignorance after this crash
A dramatic change in the idea that all that’s black and gay can be evaded or devalued
Access to self-esteem will be an issue just like access to healthcare
And won’t be reserved for heterosexuals that missed the clue bus
It drives right down tenth pass the rioting gays in the streets
That will secure our better gay day
The revolution will not be avoided

That you regularly watch Will and Grace
Think Ellen is funny and should win an Emmy
Laughed while watching Queer As Folk
Is not evidence of your distress
Gil has already told you the revolution will not be televised
So you run to your computer for the answers on how to revolt
Though your inbox is full and your out box fuller
Again I say the revolution will not be downloadable
The revolution will not be emailed

The altercations on Men4Now, Men4RightNow, ICU, Adam4Adam
Won’t be mentioned in the history books that chronicles our revolution
The modernization of another chat room won’t free our people
The revolution will not be found in your key strokes
Looking for the love of your night
Or your jerk strokes squirtin’ it off to the right
That somehow you have 44 hours a week to perform
But couldn’t find three hours to alleviate the shame
That you didn’t even vote in the last election

The revolution will not make your inactivity appear sexy
Your gym membership to three different health clubs won’t prepare you for the fight
That you’ve got abs of steel don’t make you a warrior for the front line
Or any line of this revolution
The revolution will not look prettier on a 17 inch flat screen
You can’t upload your participation
The theme song will not be an MP3 that can be burned to CD without you singing in its chorus
You can’t download your participation
Have you even a jpeg of one of our leaders?
Who would all tell you
The revolution will not be emailed

The revolution will not keep you in your closets of fear, shame & self loathing
The revolution will not keep you in your closets of hate, bigotry &
Pompous to believe that your way of thinking is the only way
The revolution will not allow your closet of not so shocking homophobia
To exist in your house of immobile
That closet will be set on fire
Computer closets on fire everywhere burning the truth
That the revolution will not be emailed

The revolution will not allow you to engage in all this dialogue about brothers on the DL
Why men gotta lie?
Why these boogie men prey on us?
Why can’t I have a “get out of responsibility card” free in the age of AIDS?
Then in the next breath you call me faggot
The same faggot who will be on the front line
Helping to get your lovers into HIV treatment
Helping to save your heterosexual advantaged black ass

Look, I’ve got news for you
And maybe I can say it in a language that you understand
Welcome
You’ve Got Mail!
THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE EMAILED